O-Week 2010: Jump on Board

Helpful Tips for Parents of Commencing Undergraduate Students

How can I find out how my son/daughter is doing academically?

The only way is to ask him/her. Students are able to access their assessment results through their online UNSW account. UNSW staff are not permitted to release information about academic progress or attendance to anyone else without that student's express consent, or in exceptional circumstances.

If your son daughter appears to be having difficulties, try to find out why, rather than assume that it must be due to lack of diligence or effort. University work is very challenging and even students who achieved outstanding higher school certificate results may receive relatively poor grades during their adjustment period at university.

What can I do if I am seriously worried about his/her well-being?

You could suggest that s/he contacts one of the many services listed in the academic diary issued at enrolment and on our web pages. These might include:

  • UNSW_Counselling_Service

  • International Student Services
  • University Health Service
  • Their Faculty or School office

  • The Equity & Diversity Unit

  • A member of staff in Student Services - through UNSW_Student_Central

  • A tutor in an academic department
  • The warden or a senior fellow in college accommodation (if appropriate)
  • A University chaplain or other faith representative

Homesickness or a type of culture shock can hit any new student. The peak times for this appear to be the first couple of weeks of the academic year and/or about 3-6 weeks into semester, or the period immediately following the Easter or mid-semester break.

If you are really concerned, please call us. While we cannot discuss an individual's situation/circumstances (without their permission), we can contact the student and offer support as appropriate. We cannot guarantee that they will choose to take advantage of our offer of support, but we will make every effort to make them aware of support options. We can also tell you about UNSW policy or procedures that apply in specific situations.

Students have a legal right to access any information the University holds about them. This means that we cannot guarantee that anything you say to us will be 100% confidential. We could discuss this with you should the occasion arise.

Please don't assume that all students will face a crisis at university! The vast majority of students do not encounter serious problems. Nevertheless, UNSW staff have supported many students (and parents) through difficult times, particularly the adjustment anxiety that is often experienced in the daunting first few weeks - you name it, we have probably had to deal with it.

Should I tell him/her about problems at home?

In the case of family difficulties, serious illness (or worse) many parents instinctively try to protect the student by keeping the news from them. In our experience, this is not the best approach. Students can become very anxious if they discover important news has been kept from them. They can become distressed, and feel guilty for not 'sharing' the worries with the rest of the family. Anxiety can continue as the student wonders what else might be kept from them.

We can offer support to students and have policies that allow students time away from their studies (without financial or academic penalty) to deal with personal or family problems. If you are ever unfortunate enough to find yourself in this kind of situation, you can call the UNSW_Counselling_Service for in-confidence advice.

Will you tell me if s/he is ill?

We ask students during enrolment to give us details of who to contact in an emergency. This would only be used in the unlikely case of a student becoming dangerously ill and unable to make contact themselves. UNSW will only use the contact information if medical personnel advise that it is required. Hospitals have similar guidelines and do not notify the University of hospitalised students unless asked to do so by the student. It is up to students themselves to inform the University that they are in hospital.

Who will stop him/her drinking too much/having inappropriate relationships/going out when they should be studying?

Students 18 years and over are adults. As such they have to make adult choices. University life presents many opportunities and many challenges. Students often describe their university years as the 'best years of my life'. This is not just about the pursuit of their academic and career dreams. It is also about their participation in cultural, sporting and political activities. For some students the mix can be distracting and poor choices may be made. Our Counselling Service is here to assist students who need advice and assistance or need to refocus.

Students can talk to staff at the UNSW_Counselling_Service in confidence on a range of issues. If issues such as these arise please encourage the student to seek assistance.

How can I prepare and support him/her for independent life at University if they are moving away from home?

  • Encourage your son/daughter to read all the pre-arrival information that they receive and to complete and return all forms in a timely manner; the more preparation they do in advance, the less anxiety they will encounter on arrival.
  • Spend some time with them looking at their financial situation and helping them to plan a budget.
  • Make sure that they can cook at least 2 or 3 simple dishes which they enjoy. This will give them comfort if they are homesick.
  • Make sure that they can wash and iron their own clothes and take personal responsibility for scheduling and managing day-to-day activities - they will have to do these things at University.
  • Ensure they have a large supply of simple items such as tooth paste, coat hangers and tissues. These can become expensive and quite inconvenient to buy, help them by ensuring they have a large supply so it becomes one less thing they have to worry about.
  • Of course you will miss them but try to be positive about their impending departure. It can be hard for students to settle to their studies at the same time as worrying about the distress being faced by parents/families at home.
  • Do keep in touch! Regular correspondence and calls are vital to student happiness. If they don't hear from you, they may become anxious and find it hard to study. However, parents calling or writing too often can make homesickness worse - not better. Students need to focus on life at University, not focus on how much they are missing home or being missed.
  • If they appear to be very homesick, suggest they take advantage of the many activities and services provided to help students make the transition to student life. Discourage daily calls if you can. If you are really concerned, do call us - we can make contact with any student to offer advice and steer them towards other sources of support.
  • Coming home every weekend can be a sign of homesickness. For some students it can take time to 'feel at home' at university. Encourage your son or daughter to participate in a first year peer-mentoring program. These programs are designed to help students adjust to university life more quickly. If they feel that they don't "fit in" with the crowd around them, they may feel excluded or worry that university life is not for them. They would not be alone in thinking this. Please encourage them to talk with one of our contact services listed below so that we can help them find activities and settings where they can feel more included.

Contacts:

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